Fighter aircraft that are older than 40 years old are slow, tired and in need of a zimmer jet it has been announced.
After the Shoreham disaster and now a Spitfire falling out of the sky due to boredom, disability aids are needed.
'I can barely turn my turbines any more' said an old Vulcan bomber.
'I was brought out of retirement for the Falklands and that was over 30 years ago. My bomb bay doors have seized up completely. I really feel it in the winter.'
'If only I could get one of those young healthy Eurofighters to pull me along, nip into foreign countries and collect my pension from the post office.'
'Though the jet backwash might toast a few pensioners. Consider it a national service.'
