An enormous black hole has opened and is attempting to consume the Daily Mail, Express, The Times and The Sun it has emerged.
After decades of drip feeding anti-immigrant hatred, the upsetting image of a three year old boy dead on the beach has miraculously cause all four publications to change their editorial line on the very same day.
'It's a miracle!' said Daily Mail reporter Ash Kennedy as he creeped inexorably towards his cosmic doom.
'The editor and owner have become ickle bunny rabbits overnight and all fluffy and nice and yummy.'
'Which is a shock, as usually they are barely human reptilian cunts!'