Children with lisps, stutters and more exotic speech impediments are likely to grow up to vote Tory it has been revealed.
Interviewing Tory voters on TV shows how almost all of them have difficulties with speech, have funny shaped faces because of this and are therefore victims of horrendous chuldhood bullying.
'My political belieths are not ba-thed on my childhood experienthes' said Mike Harewood.
'I do not feel the need to punish tho-the who picked on me by doing everything I can to raithe the taxeth of anyone poor.'
'I particularly do not want Th-tephen Th-imp-thon who ith only a cleaner to have a tiny, pathetic wage and no tax credit-th the horrid little thit! I hate him!'