The announcement that Americas two biggest alcohol companies are to merge has been celebrated by the nations alcoholics it has emerged.
Speaking from the gutter, Ash Kennedy, a former estate agent with a wife and two children, but now a single full time drinker said 'Bring on the BudGrolsch!'
'I hope this merger brings about a doubling in strength of all booze. 10% beers, pure ethanol vodka. Mergers should do that. Make everything better, faster, stronger, drunker.'
'I would ask they invest some time providing free PVC pants though. I would look up at you but I am far too busy being face down as my own urine trickles past my face. It would be preferable if it was stored against my legs in waterproof trousers.'
'Perhaps with some sort of buttplug attachment. I think I've just shit myself. Could you pass me another bottle? But with a straw if you would?'