Every national publication in the UK is to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital for tube map addiction it has been announced.
Since the publication of the new tube map some months ago, every newspaper and magazine has obsessively published various versions of the London Underground map.
'It's such a self indulgent obsession' said Professor Charles Langtree of The Felchfield Institute.
'I'm waiting for the article comparing the various renders of Newcastle's underground. Or the alternative Merseyrail map. Or the Glasgow tube printed on a bagel.'
'But none of these newspapers are based there. And you know, everyone in Britain uses the tube because London is Britain and anywhere outside of the M25 is some sort of plague rat infested waste land.'
'Cunts.'
