A British pensioner who spent time and money enabling himself to become inebriated in the privacy if his own home is to face 360 lashes for his trouble it has been announced
After home brewing his own super strength red wine, he was stopped in his car and arrested when it was found in the boot.
'I'm living in a joyless, dry country and I need something to take away the pain' said Karl Andree.
'They have no idea about the inalienable British right to get blitzed at any time in any country. It's our birthright.'
'Whipping the shit out of my back is not going out on the lash! I just want to get hammered.'
'No, No! Not hammered! No hammers involved! I like my fingers and teeth. I want to get wankered.'
'Er, yeah, wankered. That can't lead to a horrific punishment. Unless it's 360 consecutive wanks in which case my knob will just be a pile of mince meat. Worse ways to go I suppose.'
