A hip school with a teacher who uses unorthodox music lessons to teach children has been put into special measures it has been announced.
The teacher, a Mr. Ash Kennedy, was revealed to not be a teacher at all but a failed musician trying to form a band at this prestigious prerp school.
'It's astonishing this could happen at one of Britain's premier primary schools.' said education expert Frank Horrigan.
'Did nobody bother to do a background check on this man? He could be a colossal nonce.'
'But most astonishingly is that nobody noticed his music lessons didn't teach any music but seemed to just teach kids how to be stereotypes of rock culture. How could a school have missed this?'
'It is for this reason the school is placed in special measures. Oh, and the nonce thing too.'
