As George Osborne has said that nothing is off the table with his business negotiations with China, grandmothers everywhere have started chaining themselves to appliances.
Speaking from inside handcuffs attached to a brass, 19th century double radiator, Eve Green, 73 from Aberdeen said, 'He won't get me sewing Nike Air Max with a needle shoved up my arse!'
'There is only so much humiliation one woman can go through and squeezing two kids out your fanny whilst shitting yourself is my limit.'
'I will not be forced to work 19 hour days with the promise of a handful of rice and only seven lashes for my trouble.'
'No, I'm retired from making rich cunts richer thank you very much.'