Will Self has written a puff piece in the New Statesman on Stewart Lee and various instruments across the globe measuring the degree of wank in the world have exploded it has been revealed.
Professor Charles Langtree of The Felchfield Institute said 'My Twat barometer melted last night.'
'Then the Wankometer blew up followed by the Arse-i-flex erupting. I have never seen such behaviour on our instruments.'
'I knew from these actions some horrific trio of turd had occurred and upon investigation found the article.'
'Despite being politically in the same place, both myself and world instuments can't cope with the sheet volume of shite. There was a worrying wobble in Neptune's gravitational field at the same time.'
'If this causes the universe to implode, I'm going to be really, really annoyed.'