The Chief Executive of mobile network 3, Mr. G. Reedybastard, today announced his plans to buy all companies in the world.
'It's part of our consolidation plans' he said.
'Firstly, we will buy all mobile operators and charge you the blood of your first born for a 1 minute call to your mum. Then we intend to purchase all other consumable generating companies. That way all the money you earn can go straight to me and I can build a massive house on top of a mountain of cash.'
When asked if there was anything else he would purchase, Mr. Reedybastard, Capricorn, said 'Yes, your eternal soul. Now please excuse me, I must felate Beelzebub. He's lets me call him by his first name these days. Rupert.'