Fictional twin Lucy was fictionally killed by an unknown fictional character on fictional soap opera Eastenders. This week we find out who is the fictional culprit.
Robert Jones, BBC producer for Eastenders said 'This is one of our biggest plot lines for the past 30 years. Not since Dirty Den gave a piece of paper to his wife has the nation been so gripped.'
And it's not just in Britain. In Nigeria the tension is growing. Esther Lawan, one of the 178 girls kidnapped by Boko Haram said 'I'm convinced it's Danny Dyer. I really need to know though. It's the most important thing in my life right now. Apart from my liberty of course.'
And Anatoly Yevtukh of Donetsk, Ukraine, has also been following events unfurl. 'I hate Shane Ritchie so whatever can be done to get him out of the show, I support. Duck.'
