Richard Hammond and James May have been rescued and released from Jeremy Clarkson's sex basement today.
For the past 14 years, inbetween filming, Hammond and May are held for Clarkson's pleasure in a Fritzl cellar.
Hammond said after being freed 'Can I admit to being a socialist yet? I've had to spout Clarkson's brand of populist right wing tripe for over a decade because James and I aren't allowed our own opinions. We have been punished with a 12 inch knobbled intruder if we ever said anything reasonable or liberal.'
James May said on his release, 'Can I go back? I quite enjoyed it. I don't think Jeremy goes far enough frankly. And I still haven't had my promised session with the vibrator nicknamed 'The Widow Maker.'
Clarkson has been bailed awaiting a trial date. He is charged with Ignorance with intent to spout bollocks, premeditated felching and conspiracy to pierce a sphincter with a non-V8 motor.
