After admitting his wife took the blame for a minor car accident that he was responsiblt for, a judge has announced his response 'for the kids'.
Judge Philip Banks said 'Lance Armstrong was meant to be a national hero and an inspiration for the kids. But first he took drugs to help him win races and now he bashed into cars. It's not fair. I'm really upset. I've had to take down my posters of him. He will pay for this. I find him guilty of all non-custodial crimes and he's a nasty man!'
Julia Banks, Judge Banks's wife said 'Philip has always been a huge fan of Lance Armstrong. He was deeply effected by the doping scandal. He used to rock forwards and backwards weeping. I thought he had got over it but this small car accident has brought it back to the surface. He really is a wet bastards.'
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