A new study of the genetic make-up of the UK show that there are no specific racial groups.
Celtic DNA, long lauded amongst the Scottish, Welsh and Cornish, does not exist as a unique genetic marker.
Professor Charles Langtree of Felchfield Polytechnic said 'The fact that there are no specific groups of DNA shows the British to be something of a mongrel race.'
He continued 'Nationalism across the UK, be it Scottish, Welsh, English or British have been predicated on there being genetic races. There aren't'
'The British are a hodge podge of various invading country's DNA and as such are impure and dirty.'
Leading nationalist figures have announced the dissolution of their movements.
In a joint statement they said 'It seems we are all equally worthless. I'm off to the pub to get absolutely cunted.'