A petition has been started since the announcement that Kanye West would headline Glastonbury this year.
Available for signing on Change.org, it reads thusly:
'We the undersigned wish for the Glastonbury Festival to replace Kanye West with an entirely different overpaid, annoying twat.'
'We suggest Jamie Cullum or James Blunt.'
Emily Eavis, festival organiser and talent booker, said 'If we limited our talent pool to non-twats we would end up having the Chuckle Brothers headlining.'
'It's impossible not to book a twat. They all want Cristal Champagne, rose petals underfoot and air shipped in from the alps.'
'We nearly renamed it Glastonbury Cuntival one year but Dolly Parton turned out to be vaguely normal. Who knew?'