Sitting for 2 hours in very small seats while a lot of people you have never heard of prance about without air conditioning is still worse than watching a film it has emerged.
The latest government statistics show that large seats, a nice temperature, famous people and explosions are what an audience truly wants.
Theatregoer Tim Streetlamp said 'I only go to make girls think I am cultured. Even the west end plays with famous people in are boring. I want to see shit explode.'
And critic for the Evening Standard Jeremy Clout was of a similar opinion.
'I go to the theatre because I am paid. If I go to the cinema I may see Jennifer Lawrence's tits.'
'I didn't see them during The Fappening as that was immoral and wrong and I want to see that mole on her left nipple that I saw in those photos from The Fa..... Fa...... fly me to the moon! Ahhhh I love Frank Sinatra.'
