Jimmy Thoronka, a Sierra Leonian athlete who has been sleeping rough in London since last summers Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, has claimed asylum.
A senior immigration officer said 'We deal with each case carefully and compassionately. There are various elements of the Human Rights act that we can employ here to protect Mr. Thoronka. Of course if he was to compete for the UK that may help his case a little. Otherwise he can fuck off back to bongo bongo land.'
The outpouring of compassion for Mr. Thoronka was sullied somewhat by the home office statement which we can reveal was delivered by a UKIP supporter.
We asked the public for their opinion. Gary Flange of Penge said 'He can run and that's good. He can wear the flag and everything. Just don't live next door to me or look at my daughters. Make your contribution then fuck off. I've got a giro to cash and Jeremy Kyle to watch.'