Today is a proud day for Irishmen as it is time for their annual celebration of their patron saint.
However the rest of the planet seems confused by this and is celebrating too.
Professor Charles Langtree from Felchfield Polytechnic lays out the facts.
'Well 99.94% of the world isn't from Ireland. They probably have their own national day and this is when they really should be celebrating.'
He continued 'Today is for proud Irish to celebrate their nation and heritage. By imbibing Stout, a northern English drink, having a bit of craic, from the word crack or cracking, a northern English and Scottish word meaning 'news' and later 'good' which was then gaelicised in the 1970's into craic, and by honouring their patron saint Patrick, a Briton, Irish people can celebrate all things Irish!'
Sean O'Briain, an Irishman living in London said 'Frankly it's an embarrassment. There is plenty to celebrate about Ireland but this leprechaun infused, green hat wearing collection of pseudo-gaelic shite makes me cringe.'
He continued 'Come back on 15th February. I'll be celebrating the birth of George Johnstone Stoney who posited the existence of electrons. Someone worth celebrating and getting fucking wankered for.'