The Large Hadron Collider at CERN was turned back on this weekend and had catastrophic, universe wide effects.
In what has been described as the 'Everything's The Wrong Way Around!' effect, universal constants have shifted.
Physicists have described the witnessed changes.
'Cats and Dogs have been playing together. Black policemen have been shooting innocent white people and getting away with it. And bacon tastes horrible.'
'But worst of all, Piers Morgan seems pleasant rather than a thin-skinned, egomaniacal little twat rag.'
'I implore the people at the LHC: Turn it off! I can take all of it, every last bit of weirdness, except the Morgan thing.'
'The universe can only proceed as it should if we all think Piers Morgan is a pathetic little jumped up, toady, shitbag, bollocksing cunt!'