Cecil the Lion's Death 'A Mercy, As Anyone Called Cecil Will Tell You'

News that a lion called Cecil was shot on an illegal hunt by an American dentist has caused understandable ripples of rage across the planet it has emerged today.

But Lion wrangler, Ken Frunt, of the Sub-Saharan Animal Preservation Fund said that, in this rare case, it was a mercy kill.

'I had seen the look in his eye many, many times' said Frunt.

'This was the look of someone who had spent a lifetime being called Cecil and being bullied within an inch of his sanity for it.'

'I should know. My real name is Cecil Frunt. But I changed it. So I could get through the day without wishing a rogue meteor would wipe me out.'

'I saw the look in his eye, the look that said 'This could only be worse if I had one of thise supposed men's names like Hilary or Vivian.''

''But Cecil is basically just as bad. Get an undereducated American idiot to shoot me in the fucking face will you.' The despair was palpable.'