A revolutionary new brain surgery using lasers has been developed it was announced today.

Used to treat brain cancers, some have described the treatment as too radical.

'I can guarantee nobody will die of brain cancer ever again' said Professor Charles Langtree of The Felchfield Institute.

'This laser method radically changes the physical state of the supra-neck region from a collection of various density solids and liquids of varying viscosities into a gas.'

What does this mean in simple terms?

'We blow their head off. We vaporise it. Blow the fucker to kingdom come. Nobody will ever die of brain cancer ever again.'

'No, just the horrific head explosion. That might niggle a little for a while and may, in a small minority of 100% of cases result in actual, as it were, death.'


 
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