Alan Tit-marsh's latest show on Capability Brown is proving to be a real hit with his target audience of Ukip voters it has been announced.
Spending hours of television, millions of pounds and acres of land to create a pointless man made river and a few terraced fields is the most quintessentially British thing ever filmed according to Tit-marsh.
'This is television at its finest. We celebrate someone who was rich and powerful and white. You could cut throught this land and written through it, like a piece of rock, would be the words to Rule Brittania and a column by Simon Heffer.'
'None of this 'Who Do You Think You Are?' with Sanjeev Bhaskar or John Barnes.'
'No, good old fashioned, 1950s, safe family entertainment celebrating my favourite type of people: Tories.'