After a 3-1 drubbing to Everton at Goodison Park this weekend, Jose Mourinho has been offered a copy of Championship Manager it has been revealed.

As he prepared for the journey back to London, he was presented with the gift of the classic game so he can learn how to coach a football team.

'I am very grateful for this learning aid' said Mourinho

'It has become obvious to me I need help. Why, just this weekend, a sage Evertonian suggested to me from the crowd that 'You're shit, and you know you are.'

'Unfortunatley, he may be right. Our own fans, ususally virtually silent, informed me 'You don't know what you're doing' and asked me 'What the fucking, what the fucking, what the fucking hell was that?'

'English isn't my first language but it feels negative. So I am going to learn management using this game. Apparently, looking moody and giving intense interviews and spending the Greek national debt on players isn't enough.'
 
Top