Getting up at a time that nocturnal animals consider lunch time, forcing thick, strong bitter coffee down your gullet and standing next to someone with offesnive BO on public transport is similar to catching hideous diseases it has been announced.
Professor Charles Langtree of The Felchfield Institute said 'Having an acute case of gonorrhea is itchy, annoying and should be banished from human experience.'
'The morning commute is just as painful if not more so. And you have to pay for the privilege.'
'Although knob rot is possibly worse.'
'There's nothing quite like the despair and panic you feel when you are in a meeting and bits of your cock start falling off and dropping down you trouser leg.'
'Be careful not to flick your dismembered bellend into the face of your boss with your foot when it drops off.'
'Tends not to go down too well. Choking hazard you see.'
