An Italian man who was caught cheating at an international chess tournament using a morse code device hidden under his clothes has been crowned King of the Nerds it has been announced.
Previous monarch, Professor Brian Cox, said 'There aren't many people I woukd give this crown up to, but Arcangelo Ricciardi is one of them.'
'I may have been a keyboard player who went on to be a theoretical physicist but this is a whole order of nerdiness above that.'
'Had he been wearing a mediaevel kings outfit with wooden sword and a bunch of virgin mates dressed ready to take part in a mock fight he would havr become Universe Emperor of the Nerds.'
'But as it happens, sitting there holding a morse code device under your armpit in jizz stained half mast corduroy trousers only gets you King I am afraid.'
