Since the BBC brought in its policy of guaranteeing a female presence on panel shows, Mock The Week has struggled to understand this strange lady creature it has emerged.
A whistleblower, Ash Kennedy, said on condition on anonymity 'The producers had never met a woman before this new edict.'
He continued 'They had heard rumours of strange features women have like bleeding from their bums is it? And two mounds of flesh on the front of their bodies.'
'So they set up a special chair with extra absorbant padding and a super strong back to support the weight of the double fleshy lumps.'
'The chair cost a fortune. And it has to be bolted down so no other panel shows can steal it.'
'That's why there is only ever one woman on Mock The Week and why she always, always, sits in the same place.'
'It is the special lady chair.'
'They are commisioning a similar chair for the rare occasion they have a black person on. A larger head rest for all the extra hair and also bolted down so it doesn't get stolen.'
'They wouldn't say by whom.'
But executive producer Dan Patterson is said to be thinking of having more diversity on the show. Tokenistic, backward and soaked in privilege, Patterson has produced Mock the Week for 10 years.