Controversies over foreign girl bands and behind the scenes dust ups on The X Factor are officially more important that everything else that has ever happened newspapers are reporting today.
Headline news in various tabloid papers inform us if the dire consequences of cheating the public over bands asked to perform on the show.
'It's a joke to be honest' said X-Factor fan Ash Kennedy.
'There are sometimes stories in newspapers about some migrants or some people dying after their benefits were stopped.'
'But nobody cares. It's disgusting. The biggest story is that girl band that has won loads of talent contests. They were apparently invited to come on!'
'And they are all attractive. And we are all imagining some sort of incestuous 4-way lesbian hookup that, disgustingly, hasn't been featured in the papers yet!'
'And they call themselves 'news' papers. Bloody disgusting!'