In the week it emerged that Cadbury's chocolate can no longer be sold in America, US importers have demanded changes to the Newcastle Brown Ale recipe.
'I've no idea why.' said Barry Allen, Geordie and Newky Brown lover. 'It's good for you, get it down you. What's that? The colouring might be carcinogenic? That might explain these massive growths all over my face.'
UK produced Cadbury's can no longer be sold as Hersheys has the rights to produce Cadbury's in the US.
'I prefer the British produced stuff.' said Geraldine Douglas, expat and hater of grey clouds. 'It's sweeter and creamier. The sugar content protects us from the Newky Brown anyway. It's a trade off. We get really bloody fat from all the chocolate but dont get cancerous polyps on our arseholes. And that can only be a plus.'
UK trade spokesman Philip Rowntree stated that Newcastle Brown Ale was perfectly safe to drink and 'those bloody yanks should just get it down their neck as we have to put up with that horse piss Budweiser.'
