Mount Everest has grown in size by 3000ft thanks to all the human faeces left at it's summit it has been revealed.
Sherpa Bailding who has been guiding expeditions for 20 years said 'Ever since Brian Blessed came here it has been a tourist trap. He is responsible for at least 500ft of that shit. Have you seen the size of the man? He shits like an elephant.'
He continued ' It's not so bad when you're up there as it's frozen. But if any gets chipped off and ends up in a fold of your clothing, well lets just say it's grim down at basecamp, which these days smells like a festival portaloo.'
'If people are so obsessed with mountaineering, there's a climbing wall at the Butlins in Skegness. Go there. They've got toilet facilities. And casual racism. They would love it.'