The old man living on the Moon, who has been banished for touching far too many kids, has died from a combination of hypoxia, freezing and explosive decompression it has emerged.
As featured in this Christmas's John Lewis advert, the man began initially to struggle for breath.
'It looked quite horrific from the telescope I was watching him through' said Isla, a seven year old girl.
'I tried waving but he was too busy clutching his throat. It was then that I could see his fingers and limbs start to freeze solid around his neck.'
'He staggered towards what looked like a park bench but his movements became more and more robotic as he slowly froze.'
'Finally his stomach and guts exploded sending intestines flying off into space. He fell down backwards dead. Very, very dead.'
'Still, I've got a lovely spare telescope here!'