News is emerging of a US Army base laid waste by a new terrorist threat from an as yet unknown group
Calling itself 'The Down of the Duck', this organisation has allegedly managed to smuggle itself into every soldiers bunk room and start influencing America's finest.
'We have seen some horrific incidents' said Major Kurt Fuller.
'An entire bunk room was hospitalised after this group somehow made our soldiers viciously attack each other with super soft downy pillows.'
'We now have half a platoon out of action with severe pillow trauma and chronic quilt disease.'
'Does anyone have a huge teddy bear I can hold?'
