National Rifle Association spokesman Billy-Sue Tupperman has said that teenagers need to be more careful around those who are armed it has been revealed.
'Teenagers must not interfere with the rights of American citizens to shoot bullets in any direction they want at any time they want.' said Tupperman.
'In particular, when a citizen chooses to take seven weapons, each with over 300 rounds of ammunition and chooses to shoot in and around a school, I must insist teenagers stop getting in the way of bullets, using body parts to impede their progress and altogether stop headbutting them.'
'Your second amendment rights, and this is vitally important, is more important than your right to life.'
'For did Jesus not say in his sermon on the mount 'Blessed are those armed with an Uzi and sawn-off shotgun for they will shoot the shit out of everything and inherit the earth.'
