People converting old lifeboats into houses, building 'spaces' in their 3 acres of land and making jewellery out of the lead from old church roofs earn money through sheer belief they should have loads of it, it has been revealed.
Watching television programs such as 'Amazing Spaces', 'Grand Designs' and 'Escape To Where There's No Poor People', it has become evident that no-one featured seems to have a job.
'Where do they get all their filthy cash from?' screamed office worker Greg Hunt.
'They never seem to have a job. They just seem to have cash everywhere and 'bridging loans', something that no ordinary person has a clue about.'
'Is it just your birthright? You were born into a particular class and people just give you money which you spend on an eco-home that costs 3 times more than a normal house and you then point at the working classes and tell them all the pollution is their fault?'
'I think that's how it works.'
We asked rich person Henry Gilbert just how he does acquire his money.
'Shhhh. I'm summoning Lucifer. Come back another time.'
