Sepp Blatter has been escorted by two nurses from the headquarters of FIFA asking what day it is it has been reported.
Overheard asking 'Are you my daughters?' of the nurses, one of whom was male, Blatter is to reside at the Home for the Age Related Corrupt & Filthy Rich.
All charges against Blatter are to be dropped. Swiss prosecutor Herman Busdel said 'It is necessary in this situation.'
'Although Mr. Blatter does have a lot to amswer for, we can't bring ourselves to do it. He looks so confused and pathetic. You wouldnt chastise a 16 year old cancer ridden old dog for shitting on your carpet would you?'
'No, you would do the kind thing. Put him in a hessian bag with 12 rocks and chuck him in the sea. Or have a vet put him down. Either / Or.'
'Shame we cant do the same with Sepp. Hang on. We're in Switzerland. Get me the address of Dignitas. Or failing that, bring me a hessian bag. And some rocks.'
