'How Long Before We Can Start Hating the French Again?' Asks Everyone'How Long Before We Can Start Hating the French Again?' Asks Everyone

As the period of mourning continues over the horrific terror attacks in Paris, British people have begun asking how long is necessary before open hatred of the French can begin again it has been reve…

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Corbyn Maliciously Wastes Food to Clap Old SoldiersCorbyn Maliciously Wastes Food to Clap Old Soldiers

Jeremy Corbyn maliciously, aggressively and purposely wasted food at the post-remembrance banquet by not turning up it has been claimed. Deciding instead to clap veterans as they marched past and mee…

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John Lewis Paedophile Dies From Low Oxygen, Pressure, TemperatureJohn Lewis Paedophile Dies From Low Oxygen, Pressure, Temperature

The old man living on the Moon, who has been banished for touching far too many kids, has died from a combination of hypoxia, freezing and explosive decompression it has emerged. As featured in this …

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Maths Exams That Include Maths to be AbolishedMaths Exams That Include Maths to be Abolished

With the increased focus internationally on 'Sally's Problem', 'The Dying Llama' and 'The Piss Easy Coins Thing', Maths exams are to have their content changed. 'We feel people struggle counting let …

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David Cameron Uses Photoshopped SoulDavid Cameron Uses Photoshopped Soul

David Cameron's soul is fake and is added to pictures and news footage after the fact it has been revealed. Using photoshop and film editting software, a soul is pasted over his lifeless face to rese…

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Merseyside Police's Next Gig to Feature Paedo JokesMerseyside Police's Next Gig to Feature Paedo Jokes

Merseyside Police have apologised for engaging in rape banter over twitter it has been revealed. Releasing a statement about the conduct of their social media team, Chief Inspector Sir Hugh Ordinary …

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Fog Leads to General Relief That You Can't See LondonFog Leads to General Relief That You Can't See London

The thick fog that has enveloped the UK today has lead over 8 million people to breathe a sigh of relief it has emerged. The inability to see London has led to a jaunty spring in the step of Londoner…

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